Rocco Report, Switzerland

Oh hey, I’ve got a great idea for the Switzerland trip, how about we dump way more money than we can afford and go fucking paragliding! That should be fun, because when we are stranded in Africa and penniless two months from now, memories of soaring like a bird should be so fulfilling, that they count as sustenance. Good call.

Ok, so Switzerland was really pretty, but there’s nothing the hell to do here. Of course if you are into the unique form of heart, lung, and leg rape people call “hiking” you’ll probably think this country is great, but honestly it's pretty damn boring. In fact, the people have so little to do, that cars actually stop for you when you are at a walkway. Additionally, the farmers have come up with an ingenious application of modern technology to keep track of their cows – they wrap bells around their neck. This fills Switzerland with the anarchal noise of bells and moos.

And Interlaken actually uses cows to keep their town common grass cut. Which is great because it means there is a huge market for lawnmowers, which accomplish the same magical feat of keeping the grass short, but without shitting everywhere like the cows. I am going to make money on that one baby!

Actually I was thinking that Interlaken was a bit too stimulating, so I'm glad that we went somewhere only accessible by a terrifying five minute gondola ride into the mountains, called Gimmelwald, that was exciting! You know what there is to do in Gimmelwald? Look at the pretty mountains and climb the pretty mountains. That's it.

One quick word of warning, if you have a cat, and “manic is the new sleep” is headed your way, hide it. So far, cats have gone down slides, and tried to go in shower in our presence, and we are only on week two.

-Rocco