Rocco Report, The Netherlands

Ok so “manic” chose not to write much about what we did in Amsterdam eh? What a wuss. Well whatever he didn’t do anything good anyways – mainly because I didn’t hang out with him all that much. He spent his time in stupid museums, or talking about lame books with his little friend, or watching TV on the couch, or something like that I don’t know what he did but I’m sure it was pretty lame. I had my own agenda. I am quite interested in Dutch culture, particularly its cuisine. In fact, I am interested in culture in general. Wherever I go, I try to really delve into the heart of the scene, to hopefully grow an understanding of the seams and scars around the world, that prevent us (collectively, as living creatures) from being smooth, and harmonious.

Anyways, to get a sampling of the Dutch culinary culture, I popped into a coffee shop and chomped down on a space cake. For those of you who aren’t as refined as I am, a space cake is a magical cupcake that teleports you to, well, I guess space, or at least someplace pretty cool. I don’t know, ask Barack Obama about it, he may know where you go. I was going to only eat half, but the owner recommended I eat all of it, so I ate all of the space cake.

After I ate down the space cake the first couple hours were pretty normal, and then suddenly, a rocket ship took off, and I was brought into a world where the senses knew no boundaries between each other. Colors were blurred with feelings, sight with touch, and time and space moved in particularly peculiar patterns. I could sense my connection with all goblins, living and dead, and felt like we were all just one delicate piece of art that the universe was trying to balance out and express.

So yeah, the food in Amsterdam is quite good and the space cakes are worth going out of your way for. I also enjoyed the Turkish Pizzas. The street side French Fries, particularly when served with the most repulsive substance known to man (mayonnaise, for the tasteless), aren’t all that delicious. I enjoyed Amsterdam, even if “manic” was particularly lame.

-Rocco